Our First Thanksgiving
by dontrun
Summary: Three days before Thanksgiving newly engaged Bella gets some surprises from her fiance Edward. What is his secret and will their relationship make it? And what happens on Thanksgiving day with his ganja loving brother meets her chief of Police Dad?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi all this is a short story that other then the last chapter which I am working on is pretty much complete other then editing. It is a Thanksgiving gift for all my readers who have stuck by me and understand how much I am am struggling with writer's block and real life drama so my updates have been few and far between. **

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**This is Romance/Family/Drama/Humor. All chapters are 500 words are more, and like I said it is a short story so any drama will not be drawn out. If you want to flame/leave a nasty review please just hit the x and don't read this story. I just have to say I'm so sick of rude assholes who are ruining the fandom and pushing the writers who spend their free time putting together free entertainment and who put themselves out there and are tired of being treated like shit away. If you are wondering why a lot of stories are no longer being update and authors are pulling or "retiring"? Its because of these assholes who forget the manners that their parents tried to/should have instilled in them when they were kids. Remember at the other end of that review button is a living breathing person who has feelings and isn't doing this feel like crap because someone doesn't like the way or what they write. Ok off my soap box sorry this is just something that is bugging me and a lot of others. **

**Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans. Thank you to the troops and their families who give up so much so we can be free and safe.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 1: The Dilemma<strong>

Twisting my engagement ring, I try hard not to glare at the love of my life even though he just dropped one hell of a bomb on me.

"I'm sorry, baby; they called earlier while you were at yoga," he apologizes for the fifth time for telling me that his parents, whom I've yet to meet, are showing up at our house for Thanksgiving in _three_ days.

"Edward, I thought you said they were spending the holiday in New York with your sister Rose?"

"Uhh… yeah, about that…umm… yeah, Rose is kinda gonna be here too," he stutters out, while assaulting the shit out of his hair with his hands. A sure sign that my usually self-confidant honey man was feeling self-conscious and was worried I was going to be mad.

"So, not only do we have your parents, my Dad, my brother _and_ his new girlfriend; we _also_ have you sister?" I think about the small turkey that I had already purchased; and try to remember if I still had the receipt, so I can trade it in for a _much_ larger bird. 'Cause we really can't afford to just buy another one—both of us being students with part time jobs, doesn't afford for a lot of extras.

When we first started dating, I asked Edward about his family and he told me his father was a doctor and his mother was a housewife for the most part. I told him about Dad being the Chief of police in our small hometown and how tight the budget was and I was so happy to get the scholarship to U-Dubb, so I could go to college. He told me his family believes that the way to teach their kids responsibility, with money, is to have them make their own way and live on budgets. They pay his tuition and give him a small stipend at the beginning of the semester—equivalent to the price of living a semester in the dorms—and he has to work for everything else.

When we first met two years ago, I would have never had guessed he was a doctor's kid, I remember the ones in Forks were really stuck up and wanted nothing to do with the local kids because they thought they were too good for them. Not Edward, he was just this really cute guy that worked at the campus tutoring center with me. While I was helping those with English, he was handling math and chemistry. We bonded by scoffing at people who bought Starbucks coffee instead of making it at home—a hell of a lot cheaper, and filling a travel mug, or two in Edward's case.

"My brother is going to be here too," he almost whispers.

"Your _hippy_ brother… the one who believes marijuana should be legalized? He's gonna be here… with Dad? The chief of police? This ought to be interesting." I groan.

"Makes for one hell of a party," he jokes back.

"Ok, so umm… wow, I hope they'll all fit in here." I take a quick look around our small apartment.

"We'll need a larger table and some chairs. Mom and Dad are really big on tradition. We always sit at the table for Thanksgiving." He looks at our two chair bistro set and groans; clearly seeing the space concern that I was just thinking about.

"Edward, we can't really afford another table. And even if we could; where would we put it?"

"We can make it work, baby, I promise. If you'll handle the feeding part, I'll handle getting us the table and chairs." Since Edward's cooking is never a good thing, I quickly agree.

"I just want our first official Thanksgiving dinner living together to be perfect. And I _really_ want your family to like me." I pout.

"Don't worry, love, everything is going to be fine. And they will all _love_ you as much as I do… though, hopefully without the whole wanting to see you naked part," he tells me, before kissing me soundly on the lips.

For both our sakes, I hope he is right. I mean, cooking a huge traditional Thanksgiving meal can't be that hard. I know Mom always just bought one from the grocery store because she couldn't cook; and Dad just carried on that tradition, since the one time he'd tried to cook Thanksgiving, we all ended up with food poisoning. But I'm not too bad a cook myself. So, hopefully, no one will end up in the ER. _Maybe_…

Aww, hell! Who can think about cooking when Edward Cullen is kissing the ever 'loving' shit out of them?

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><p><strong>AN2: Umm I have more so if you want it the review button bellow will help it come to you quicker *hint, hint*<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Now we are entering the small drama portion of the fic before we get to the good part. Try not to be too mad at Edward he has an explanation and Bella's mind tends to blow things out of proportion at times in this fic. (NO CHEATING DRAMA cheating is icky) **

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Happy Thanksgiving to all! Even those non-Americans because I feel we should all take a day and be thankful for our blessings, even if life can be shit there has to be something good in that gray that keeps us going everyday.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 2: What Did You Say?<strong>

After returning the beautiful Honeysuckle turkey—that I had dreamed about, but no longer could keep 'cause it was way too small—I begin my second Thanksgiving shopping trip of the year. Edward had given me a list of things that they have every year for Thanksgiving dinner; and I had a ton of things to pick up to prepare it. From what he told me, his parents are very traditional and always have things a certain way.

Since my family is just happy if there is edible food and pumpkin pie with some cool whip to go on it; I decided that in an effort to gain the Cullen family's approval, I should try doing things their way. So, starting in produce, I grab two bags of cranberries—because the Cullens _don't_ eat canned cranberry sauce. I also get some celery, onions, sweet potatoes and a few other things.

I double check with the list to make sure that I got just the right types of bread; French and sour dough were needed for the homemade stuffing which the Cullens have every year. 'Cause they don't do stove-top stuffing, either. I spend well over the twenty-five Dollars needed to get the store turkey for forty-eight cents a pound; and pick up the big _mo_-_fo_ of a turkey and place it in the cart. The Cullens might not know it, but they were eating the store brand frozen turkey this year because a fresh name brand turkey this size was so not in the budget.

"Bella?" I turn to see Jessica Stanley. We had gone to Forks High together and both ended up at U-Dubb at the same time. We tried rooming together our second semester in the dorms, but her sex life—and my need _not_ to see naked people screwing in the bed next to me while I was trying to sleep at night—quickly ended that arrangement. Since then, we've had coffee a few times and played Cityvile together on Facebook.

"Hey, Jess."

"Thanksgiving shopping?" she asks, nodding to my cart.

"Yeah, Edward's family is coming in, so I needed to pick up a few more things."

"Oh my God, you poor thing." She gives me a sympathetic look, "Mike's parents still don't think their little boy should be with a simple bank teller's daughter; and they just own a small store in a small town. I can only imagine how it is going to be with the CEO of Maslen Pharmaceuticals and his wife—the Martha Stewart of the west coast."

"What?" I ask, staring at her intently.

"Edward's parents? Carlisle Cullen and his Mother Esme Platt-Cullen?" She raises an eyebrow like I'm missing something.

"What about them?" I persist, not knowing where my goofy ass quasi-friend is going with this. I mean, Edward's dad is a doctor not some pharmaceutical giant. Right?

"Carlisle inherited his family's pharmaceutical company; and Esme has written, like, two 'How to' guides on entertaining and four or five cook books. She also has specials on HGTV all the time." How did I not know any of this? I mean, not that I spend a lot of time watching HGTV.

"Jess, how do you know this?"

"I'm a business major, Bella, and Maslen Pharm is based in Seattle, so, of course we discuss the multi-billion Dollar corporation in our own back yard." She gives me a weird look. Wait! Edward's parents are based in Seattle—or near it for that matter—and I've never even _met_ them?

"Oh." Is my stupid reply.

"Bells, I hate to do this but I have to rush, Mike is meeting me at Olive Garden for dinner and I'm going to be late. His cheap butt is actually taking me out to an actual restaurant instead of frozen pizza, so no way do I want to miss this." She giggles and I have to laugh at her excited face. We do that silly-girl-hug bye and I'm left staring at my cart.

Edward had told me his parents were comfortably off, but he'd never told me who they really were or that they had that much money. He also never said he was from Seattle; in fact, when we'd talked about growing up, he'd always said Chicago. Why all the lies and half-truths?

And how the hell was I going to put together a suitable enough meal for the west coast Martha _fucking_ Stewart?

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><p><strong>Thanks for all the wonder (and shockingly many) reviews last chapter. FFnet isn't letting me reply right now but I wanted to say thanks. Later chapters have visual aids that will post on the blog, dontrunffw (dot) blogspot (dot) com. There is a link on my profile page if you need it. I'll be over on Facebook playing my mindless games if anyone needs me lol.<br>**

** Also if you are reading my other stories they will be finished. For those reading the re-post of Starts With Goodbye...I moved about 2 months ago and well the comp that the fic was on is missing, it is somewhere in one of my packed storage bins in my basement. As soon as I unearth the thing the post will start up again.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So I accidentally posted chapters 1 and 2 as the non-beta'd versions that has been fixed now. Completely my bad. Thanks to my lovely beta who pointed it out. **

**Short chapter that I snuck away from the fam to post. **

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Edward Has Some 'Splaining To Do<strong>

After checking out, I went back to the apartment to find Edward and his friend Eric putting a large ornate-wood table in the living room. Not the dining area, the _living_ room. My coffee table was now on my sofa pushed against the wall, and the TV was missing. I was already pissed off, but this just kinda pushes me over that edge from kinda-pissed to plain-pissed. I shoot him my bitch-brow; and he hides a little behind Eric.

"Umm… baby, it's the only room that will hold it. And I'll return it the day after Thanksgiving," he assures me.

"Where did this table come from?" I ask him in a cool voice. Because I'm pretty sure that table didn't come from Rent a Center.

"Dude, I'm outtie." Eric tosses his hands up and backs away to leave. "See you, Cullen, Future Mrs. Cullen." With a salute, he rushes out the door.

"Uhh… about that…" Edward shuffles his feet. Holding my hand up to silence him, I advance and pause to give Eric time to get out of hearing range from the door before I start.

"Yes?" I wait for him and he gives a nervous chuckle.

"I called my parents and explained how space challenged we were going to be with the little table and they supplied a table big enough for all of us." He rushes out, pointing at the table in question.

"Oh, that was nice of them," I say softly, turning to set my purse down before looking at my fiancé with a fake look of surprise, "Edward, you won't believe what happened when I was out shopping today."

"What, baby?" He starts to walk towards me and I hold up my hand again to stop him.

"I ran into my old roommate, Jessica, the business major, Stanley. You remember Jess, right?" I don't wait for his answer, because I am on a roll now. "I happen to mention that your parents are coming for the holiday; and she was a fountain of information about your family when she heard that. Now, I can't help but wonder on what part the man—I've spent the past two years loving—was telling the truth about; and what was just an elaborate lie.

"I mean, are you even from Chicago, or is it actually Seattle? And if your family is from here, then why are we entertaining here and not their place? Oh, and why have I never met them? Are you ashamed of me? What happened to your Dad being a doctor?" I couldn't stop the questions spewing. Edward's face pales and his Adam's apple bobs as he takes a hard swallow.

"Bella…" he starts in a soft voice and looks at a spot above my head, like he was trying to collect his thoughts.

"Well?" I ask impatiently.

"Bella, I can explain," he assures me and I know there is truth in Jess's story just from the way he is acting. "I'm sorry," is all he says as he looks at me with pain in his eyes. While tears spill from mine.

"If you'd lie about all of that, how would I know that you really even love me, and want to marry me? Is it a lie too?"

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><p><strong>Drama for about 2 and a half more chapters then we hit the funny.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**AN So I guess the last chapter I lost a lot of you *reviews was like the Dow Jones and they crashed*, not sure why that happened but I want to thank the few that are sticking with me. I guess some people thought this was going to be complete fluff though I did warn the 1st chapter that this was a drama too. Here is a longer chapter hope you enjoyed. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Edward Starts 'splaining<strong>

"Bella, how could you doubt my love?" His voice is serious and calm as he walks towards me and pulls me to him. I push him back, and he holds my arms so I can't move away.

"Let me go," I demand.

"Never, Bella. I could never let you go. Without you, I'm lost. You are my heart, my love. I've never lied to you, Bella, especially not about loving you," he says firmly, not letting go of my arms.

"Edward, I just… Jess said, and…" He takes one hand off my arm and puts a finger to my lips shushing me.

"I was born June 20th 1990 in Chicago, Illinois to Doctor Carlisle Cullen and Esme Platt-Cullen. I was the youngest of three kids. My Dad went to Cornell medical school before moving to Chicago, where he got his residency. His Father is Liam Cullen and mother Maggie Masen-Cullen. Their parents had started Maslen Pharmaceuticals; and passed it down. My Father had an older brother, Alistair, who initially inherited the company when my Grandfather Liam retired. Uncle Alistair died when I was thirteen… a car accident. He had no heirs and his will named my Father as his sole beneficiary. Dad took over the running of Maslen and took on the title CEO. We moved out here for a few years but still retained our home in Chicago. When people ask me where I grew up, I say Chicago, because to me, that is where I grew up." He looks at me intently.

"Ok." I nod, taking in everything he is telling me.

"My father is a doctor. He does work for Maslen, but he delegates. For the past four years he and my mother have been in New York where they opened a new office for the company. My sister, Rose, needed them there more than Jasper and I needed them here." He sighs. "I may not have filled in all the blanks, mainly because I don't focus on them myself. Even when my Dad worked full time as a doctor, we had money from his shares in Maslen. Dad never overly spoiled us. We went to private schools as kids, mainly for security reason. My grades sucked, so I didn't get into Harvard. A few of my friends that goofed around—like me—had parents that paid their way into school. My Dad, however, told me that we get what we earn in life; and my goofing off landed me at the state University."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"When we first met, I told you the same story I've told everyone here. Doctor's kid from Chi-town that is attending U-Dubb. As we got to know each other, I told you about my parents wanting me to earn my own way, about my siblings and a few other things. I wasn't hiding anything; I just never gave you what the family jokingly calls 'The P.R. Memo about Our Lives'."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Yeah, baby, I was. It hit me after my parents, so politely, invited themselves and my siblings to dinner that I never filled in the blanks about my life. Because when I'm with you, stupid non-important things—about some title Dad has, or the fact that my Mom parlayed her love of being a homemaker into some books that even she is surprised have done well—doesn't matter. I'm sorry if you think I've lied or have not been completely honest with you, I've told you things that no one else knows about me. I've told you the important stuff and I've never told you an outright lie."

"Edward…" His intense green eyes were getting to the parts of me that want me to give up being mad and get on with the getting naked—maybe on that really large table.

"Bella, imagine going from just being a doctor's kid to being some big CEO's and famous writer's one. People try to be friends with you just because of who you are. I had a wall built for the mass public that told the truth, but hid the extras about my life. Before we fell in love, before you made me happier than I've ever been before in my life, I told you the truth, but not the whole truth. Afterwards I guess I never realized that I hadn't told you the rest, till Mom and Dad decided to come to town. And the reason we are eating here instead of at their place is simple. Their house isn't habitable right now. They are actually staying at a hotel, when they get here, due to construction." He puts his forehead to mine. "I love you, Bella. Please, don't let this tear us apart. I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to you."

"How come I never met your parents?" It's funny, all this time I never thought it weird I got engaged to a man whose parents I never met. Now, I can't help but wonder why.

"Umm… yeah… Bella, I kept meaning to introduce you to them. The one time they've come to town since we've been together, together you had to rush off to Forks because Charlie got hurt on duty. And I kinda wanted to tell them we were engaged together in person. We haven't been engaged long, but I wanted them to meet you so I can say… 'Mom, Dad, this is the love of my life, the woman I'm going to spend forever with.' to their faces. I just, I kinda felt they were owed a face to face intro to my fiancé." I could understand that reasoning. I remember making him meet Charlie in person instead of over the phone, because I wanted Dad to see how good Edward is. Not looks-wise, even though he is all that and a bag of M&Ms. I mean, you can see the goodness in Edward when you look at him.

"Can I think about this a little? I just need a few minutes alone to compute—where your sexiness isn't making my girlie parts want to hump you while my mind wants to smack you. I just need alone time, so I can get all my parts aligned to think it through." He laughs and nods.

"I'll go over to the lab before it closes up for the holiday. I need to retest some results anyways. I'll be back in about two hours?"

"That should be long enough," I assure him.

"Till then." He kisses my forehead before grabbing his things to go.

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><p><strong>AN2: Bella is a bit of a drama queen and in the next chapter we see how much of one she really is lol and it is the last chapter of BE drama. Though lets jsut say that no family Thanksgiving goes without a little drama of its own.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**AN: Shorter chapter, but it is the one that leads us up to the funny. We learn a little bit more about Bella and her family in this chapter. Hope you like it :0)  
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><p><strong>Chapter 5: The One in Where I Think About It….and find out I'm a hypocrite <strong>

Hot coco? _Check_.

Veronica Mars season one DVD playing? _Check_.

Missing Edward? _Exclamation_ _point_.

Ok, so after about twenty minutes of telling myself that if I forgive him so easily, I'll be a doormat-dumb-biotch. You know that girl you always secretly laugh at or want to smack behind her back because she clearly lets her man get away with everything? Yeah, well people might think I'm her… _but_ _I__'__m__not_.

You see what I am… a freaking hypocrite.

After mulling it over and realizing that my stud puppy of a honey man wasn't actually lying; and then wanting to kick the assholes who made him feel like people didn't want to know the real him, I came up with something that I kinda realized I accused him of. Only to realize that I'm the one who has lied.

You see, when we first met we did that whole 'hi, this is my life', yada yada, a lot of kissing, after a few dates, some major humpage and then the whole Edward knows positions that are probably illegal in most of the US. What we never did, in that process, was get to the hard stuff about our lives. When he asked me about my parents I told him about Charlie, the sturdy pops that any girl would be proud to have. And I told him Mom was gone. He apologized for my loss and changed the subject.

You see, Renee is gone. She's just not gone from this earth. Well, unless you count her whole living in la-la land ninety-eight percent of the time as being gone from this earth? Nah! Didn't think I'd get away with that either. So, as I was saying, Renee is gone. _Gone_ meaning, when I was fifteen, Mom ran away with my first boyfriend's older brother who was a sophomore in college at the time. Big scandal that resulted in Em and I gaining a little sister named Bree, a Step-Dad a year older then my brother and Mom being labeled a 'cradle-robbing-slut'.

Renee didn't care about what she did to Em and I; claiming that she just had to follow her heart. Her heart that ruined my first romance with a cute boy named Jake. Not that it went that far; holding hands and blushing at each other were about it. Of course, now that old boyfriend is happily in love with a wonderful guy named Jared. His parents still blame Renee for turning Jake gay, not understanding that people are born that way.

Of course, Mom soon grew tired of Embry—Jake's brother—and ran off with her yoga instructor, _Jane_. Yep, Mom did the whole batting for the other team for about six months, when she decided she missed peen and ran off with Phil. Who is Phil, you ask? Umm… yeah, Phil was married to Jane's sister at the time. Anyhoo, Mom and Phil have been together ever since then. My Uncle Felix—Mom's older brother—fills us in on what is going on with her every month or so. Em and I wrote her off a long time ago. Moms are supposed to love their kids and be there for them. With Renee, it was always about her; and what we could do for her. When she left Dad, that was the final straw. We blasted N'Sync and danced to 'Bye, Bye, Bye' in celebration. Thought Em swears that never happened because it kills his whole cool factor. But, it _so_ _totally_ _did_ happen.

So, anyhoo, that brings me back to the whole hypocrite issue. Edward didn't tell me all about his Mom and Dad; and I didn't tell him about my slut— umm… I mean, Mom.

Three episodes of Veronica kicking-ass and taking names, way too much coco later, the front door opens and I rush out to face my fiancé. If you were engaged to Edward Cullen you'd rush off to see him too. Don't lie. You know you would.

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><p><strong>AN2: If you missed it there is a visual aid for the last chapter on the blog. Thanks for the continued support from those of you who have stuck it out. Remember reviews get you on Santa's nice list. <strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**AN: Real life called end of the year reports have slowed my editing process some on this so updates are on Tuesday and Saturday for right now.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 6: Making Up and Sharing The Crazy That is My Womb Donor<strong>

"Hey," he says when he sees me.

"Hi." I stop about two feet from him.

"So, uhh… yeah." My poor beautiful pookie… so nervous. So fucking _hot!_

"Edward, I'm sorry for overreacting." I'm woman enough to apologize for my mistakes.

"Oh God, baby, I'm so sorry too." He reaches for me and pauses. I rush into his arms and squeeze the every loving shit out of my stud puppy.

Some kisses and heavy petting later and I bring him into our bedroom to admit my own secrets. While I'd love to just get down and dirty with some hot make-up sex, my man deserves to know that he isn't the only one with secrets. I reach under the bed and pull out my storage box. I open it and pull out the one family portrait that I have of _both_ my parents as well as Em and myself.

"Edward, I have to tell you something." He looks at me funny and nods. I put the picture on the bed in front of us. "That's my brother, Emmett. Dad, Charlie… and my womb-donor, Renee," I tell him, pointing to each person as I name them.

"Womb-donor?" He looks at me like I've completely lost it. I probably have, but he doesn't need to know that till after the wedding. _Hehe._

"When I told you 'Mom is gone', I'm sure you thought I meant that she was dead. And I didn't correct that assumption, because I didn't _want_ to get into the subject of Renee. You see, I didn't lie when I said she was gone. I just didn't elaborate that she is just gone, as in, not around anymore. What I meant to say, Mom is a loony-slut who ran out on our family when I was fifteen. And umm… yeah, she ran off with my first boyfriend's older brother."

"What?" He looks flabbergasted. I placed a kiss on my squeaked-out snookum's lips and pulled back.

"Yeah, Mom isn't known for being socially acceptable. She doesn't filter anything. She does whatever she wants, no matter who it hurts; and she also doesn't do anything unless she wants to do it. If it weren't for Dad, Em and I would probably have ended up in foster care or something as kids. She used to forget us at school, or decide we could fend for ourselves for dinner, while she went out with the "girls" to a bar in Port Angeles. That was back when we were little kids too. Dad would get a call from the neighbor and have to rush home. He was always making excuses for her, saying they married too young or whatever. Charlie doesn't like not following through on a promise or vow. I think Renee taking off was probably a relief to him. He no longer had to be the one who failed; he could be the one left behind that tried."

"That's just fucked up," he blurts out.

"Yep, but Charlie is a great Dad. Even if he did burst into tears trying to give me the sex talk."

"Really?" Edward laughs and I nod.

"Uh huh, Charlie Swan's little girl was supposed to become a nun or something like that so he could live with the knowledge that she was never defiled by some Lothario who just wanted her golden cherry." I can't help but giggle when I think about my poor Dad.

"And I thought it was bad when my Dad—the doctor—came in with the models we use in human anatomy and proceeded to show me how everything worked. The next morning as Mom is putting the pancakes in front of me at breakfast, she looks at me seriously and tells me that if the girl doesn't get hers, then she won't want to come back to me for seconds, and that I was a selfish bastard if I only got myself off."

"Poor baby, you are lucky you're not traumatized." I mock pout at him.

"Speaking of _traumatizing_ _parents_, where is your Mom now? You know. Since she isn't in the great beyond." I groan.

"Be right back." I rush to the kitchen and make us both some coco, cause confessions of the 'crazy Madre kind', called for coco.

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><p><strong>AN: SOOO thanks so much for reading and review :0) Umm what you didn't review? *Pouts* please, pretty please with Edward on top? <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I hate to address this here but if you have Private Messaging disabled I can't send you an answer there in reply. For the person who left the review that just said short, please not the 1st chapter where I said this was going to be along the lines of a drabble fic which is shorter quicker chapters 500 min. My normal fics have 3000 word per chapter min. so there is a difference. **

**As for everyone else thank you so much for your continued support it has meant so much, hope you like this chapter the snorting the coco is completely a shout out to the awesomesauce TwiDi who I owe some coco too because she snarfed it while beta'ing one of my updates.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 7: Prepping For My Doom<strong>

After a kick-ass night of makeup sex, and Edward snorting coco through his nose as I told him about Renee—he really loved the part about Mom and Jane—we were back on even kill in the Swan-Cullen, soon to just be Cullen household.

While I was lucky to snag the whole week off from the tutoring lab, Edward had one last day this afternoon before the University shut down for Thanksgiving break. I decided to utilize this time wisely by getting a start on baking and cleaning. Donning my favorite cleaning outfit of my sunflower smiley face sweatshirt, jogging pants and fuzzy leopard print slippers, I get to work, opening up the windows. Cleaning product smell can give me a headache, so I dress warm and open up, so I can get it done without needing an Advil.

First stop is the bathroom. Grandma Swan always said that no matter what two rooms in your house need to be cleaned first and well; the bathroom then the kitchen. She claimed that even if the other rooms were messy, that if those two were clean, then you're good to go. I swear, Edward can mess up a bathroom more than anyone I've ever met. And not by the whole missing the toilet with his aim, which he'd only had done after a little too much to drink. No, my sweet man has a horrible time remembering to clean up after himself. Blue streaks of toothpaste in sink, little hairs from his ever-growing facial hair, clothes that missed the hamper… and my personal favorite—_please_, _note_ _the_ _sarcasm_ _here__—_putting away ALL of his hair-care products. My man was born with some of the messiest hair; and it takes a _lot_ to work it into submission. Personally, I love it product-free and all sex-haired up where I can run my fingers through that shit.

Finishing up, I head for the tiny kitchen. The one I'm going to have to prep a HUGE meal for more people then I care to think about. Luckily, we have a dishwasher that we always put our dirties in, so other than some counter clean up and wiping down the stove, I was able to pop on the dishwasher and be done with that.

After dusting and vacuuming the living room and hitting our few pictures with the Windex, I get to the cooking stage. First, I start with boiling the sweet potatoes. Charlie has one request every Thanksgiving, Sweet Potato Casserole. So, with that boiling, I start the pies. And you guessed right, if you guessed that I was totally using the refrigerated pie crust. No way was I going to make my own, mainly because I wasn't sure they'd be edible. Wrist-deep in mixing up the pumpkin pie stuff, my cell beeps. Wiping my hands off, I pick it up to see a text from my sweet-assed love puppet.

_I'm sitting here thinking of you. Love ~ E_

Before I can type something in reply, another text comes through.

_Do you know how much I love you? ~ E_

Aww! My lover man was so sweet! I type a 'heart' and send it to him before lifting my top and sending him a picture of my boobs. Of course, I had my hand over my heart making the 'I love you' sign—you know, just so he knows how much my _boobies_ love him. Aha! Less than a minute later, he sends something else.

_God, baby, are you trying to kill me? My dick is so fucking hard right now and I'm trying to tutor this guy from the football team. And I'm hoping to hell he doesn't think it's for him. Kisses on those sweet nips ~ E_

_P.S. Tell them I love them too._

My man knows me and my boobies so well. Because I'm naughty, I lower my sweatpants and bend over the counter sending Edward a picture of my cute little cherry-covered cotton pany'd ass. Even quicker, a message comes in.

_That's it! Fuck this jock, I'll be there in ten minutes, you better be bending over the counter wearing those panties and a smile. Love ya ~ E_

Squeee! Me and my ass are so getting some more lovin'. I quickly pull the pies out—since they were done—and put the sweet potatoes over to the side to cool, so I wouldn't burn myself when I did them up later. Putting my sweatpants over on the sofa, I fluff my hair and slip a little gloss on my lips. I rub a little extra deodorant on and brush my teeth. Edward loves my smiley face sweat shirt; he says the flowers over my tatas frame me out so cutely so I leave it on.

Twenty minutes later a knock sounds at the door and wetness floods my panties. Ohhh! Edward wants to play delivery boy. We've done this before and it's one of my favorite games. Edward gets a pizza and pretends to be a sweet innocent delivery boy whom I seduce for free pizza. Grabbing my purse, I fluff my hair one last time and fix the sweatshirt so he can see my cute panties before opening the door. I fake looking into my purse.

"How much do I owe you?" I ask in my sexy voice.

"Darlin', I'm sure we can work something out," A lazy voice drawls. I look up into the startled faces of several beautiful people.

Fuck my life!

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><p><strong>AN: Poor Bella, she'd love some reviews to cheer her up right about now :0) <strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Beta'd by TwiDi (who is awesomesauce)  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**So last chapter went well, lets see how this one goes.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 8: I Wish I Was An Ostridge<strong>

"Eeep!" I squeak rushing back to where my sweatpants resided on the sofa. I quickly pull them on and turn to face the really pretty strangers—with my very red face.

"You must be Bella." The young blond guy, who talked to me when I opened the door, spoke again in his lazy voice. I noted that he was dressed like a cowboy. Huh.

"Yes, umm… and not to be rude, but…" I wave in their direction, "you all are?" I kinda had an idea of who they were, but I'm so hoping they are just really pretty Jehovah's Witnesses coming to save my soul. _And __after __seeing__ me__ in __my__ panties __opening__ up __my __door,__they__ probably__ think __they__ hit __the __mother__lode._

"Why, darlin', we are your future in-laws. I'm Jasper, this here is sister Rose; and that is Ma and Pa Cullen back there." Jasper's voice was lazy with a really bad southern accent. The gorgeous blond woman—he pointed out as Rose—snorted.

"Jasper, just because you spent a week in Texas, it does _not_ mean you are now a cowboy," she tells him firmly.

"At least he doesn't smell like the wacky weed anymore." The older blond guy comments. "Hello, Bella. I'm Carlisle Cullen. This is my wife, Esme. Our daughter Rose and our son Jasper. We are pleased to make your acquaintance." He reaches out a hand and I automatically shake it.

"Hello, dear." Mrs. Cullen—who is like a really pretty female version of Edward—holds out her hand as well. "We are so happy to finally meet you. I'm sorry we haven't been out before, but there were some issues in New York and we couldn't get away. I have to apologize for not calling ahead of time to let you know we were coming; it was rude of us, but we just wanted to surprise Edward."

"It's nice to meet you all too," I say as politely as I can, "umm… and it's fine. He's not here, but if it makes you feel better you surprised _me,_" I assure her with a tentative smile.

"So you don't always open the door in a sweatshirt and panties, do you?" Rose asks as she looks around for somewhere to sit.

"Umm… no?" Why that came out like a question, I have no clue—probably my overwhelming embarrassment. _Or__the__fact__that__I__have,__in__fact,__answered__the__door__in__my__panties__before._

"Rosalie, that was not only rude, but completely inappropriate," Esme chastises her daughter.

"Sorry," Rose tells me and groans, "don't mind me, I'm just cranky, because yesterday I found out that my now ex-fiancé is a douche nozzle who thought it would be fun to have sex with my now ex-best-friend in my bed. I guess they got the days wrong on when I was flying out to see Edward." She huffs. "Fuckers."

"Now, now, darling, I told you when we get back to the city, I'll hog tie up those fuckers and brand them up real good with a hot poker."

"Jasper, you may be a mental case, but you're a sweet mental case," she tells him, giving him a big hug.

"Language, children," Esme says with an indulgent smile.

"So, Bella, tell us a little bit about yourself. What is your major, dear?" Carlisle asks, pulling out a dining room chair for his wife to sit on. Not like they can sit on my sofa with the coffee table on it.

"I'm majoring in psychology with a focus on school psychology. I'd like to be a guidance counselor."

"That's wonderful," Esme says sincerely, "now, are your father and brother joining us for Thanksgiving? I believe Edward said something about that."

"Yes, ma'am," I answer her politely.

"I can't wait to meet them. Edward said your Dad is the Chief of Police and your brother is in the medical field?"

"Yes, my Dad has been the Chief of Police in Forks for about ten years now; and Em is an RN." When they remained quiet, I continued, "my brother is also bringing his current girlfriend. I haven't met her yet, but Dad says she is sweet," I ramble.

"Oh good," Esme squeals with delight, "I've always loved a big family holiday; and it sounds like we are going to have a full house."

"Can I get you anything to drink? We have Sprite, Diet Coke, some Snapple, water… and I think Edward has some Sam Adams beer still?" I offer remembering my manners.

"Woo doggy, Ms. Bella, I'd sure love some of that Snapple. I loves me some sweet tea like Meemaw used to make."

"If either of our Grandmothers heard you refer to them as Meemaw they'd slap your insane ass silly," Rose informs him, "I'd love some diet coke." She smiles at me. The parents both ask for water; and I start passing out the bottles from the fridge.

The Cullens start telling me about their flights in. Jasper complained about how they wouldn't let him carry on his saddle. He claimed it was discrimination against cowboys like himself—said a real cowboy is never far from his saddle. Rose finally had enough and smacked him hard on the back of the head yelling that he was born and raised in Chicago not Austin and to get the fuck over it. Everything was going good, but since this is my life, the door swung open and Edward came in carrying a pizza spewing his mouth off without noticing there were others in the room.

"Delivery for Ms. Swan. Piping hot pizza for my piping hot fiancée. You'd better have that sweet ass bent over the counter, 'cause I'm going to fuck you and that sweet ass hard, love." I groan, feeling my blush flush across my face.

"Edward," I say gently and he looks up. His green eyes widen as he takes in his family.

"Aww, fuck!" he says loudly.

"Language," Esme states and Edward's face goes red.

"Umm… hey," he greets all of us. "Pizza?" he offers shyly.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading, and if you like the story feel free to review, and send your friends this way. This poor fic and I are feeling a little underloved (pouts). Ok see you Saturday... Visuals are up on the blog..<br>**

**Rec... Anything by SuddenlySandi just add the fanfictionnet before this. /u/2775373/SuddenlySandi  
><strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry this is a day late... I blame the holidaze that I'm in lol. **

**Many thanks to all my wonderful reviewers who left so much support last chapter. I was blown away and really felt you love this chapter is dedicated too all of you! Oh and many thanks and hugs to the wonderful caruso5 for pimping me out in the Studward group on facebook. Lots of Edward kisses your way bb!  
><strong>

**Beta'd by TwiDi **

**Don't feel like writing out the regular disclaimer but you know I don't own Twilight.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 9 Pizza Anyone?<strong>

"Well, howdy there, little brother," Cowboy-Jasper greets my red-faced honey. Edward in return stares at Jasper then turns his gaze to Rose who just laughs.

"He spent a week in Texas and now he is a cowboy," she explains like it's normal for your brother to spend a week someplace and become someone else completely.

"So, the hippie phase is over?"

"Thank God, yes. Though after listening to him lament over how downhill the rodeo and country music has gone over the past five years, I almost miss stoner Jasper who only said 'dude,' and 'wasss'up'," she tells him.

"I don't miss the ganja smell!" Esme exclaims, "do you know how hard it was to get that stench out of his clothes?"

"Ugh! Try getting that smell out of your car," Rose growls, glaring at her blond brother.

"Ya'll want to talk about smells? Try the sweet smell of horse dung on a mornin' ride to look at the sun rise over the mesa." He gets this sweet blissed out look on his face.

"The weed killed off his remaining brain cells," Carlisle states like he was making a medical observation.

"Sooo… what are you all doing here already?" My future baby-daddy asks his family.

"We wanted to surprise you, baby boy," Esme tells him, coming over to hug his stud-ass. "I also wanted to meet your lovely Bella and offer to help her tomorrow. I know how overwhelming cooking a huge dinner for a lot of people can be. The first year that I did it, your Grandmothers were no help and let's just say that I'm lucky your father loves me, because he spent the night in the emergency room for food poisoning. He was trying to make me feel better about my cooking and ate way more of it then he should while everyone else picked at it before going to order Chinese. That was the year they sent me to cooking school." She laughs.

"That was a year before we got married. My stomach and I both were thankful for those cooking classes." Carlisle laughs.

"Speakin' bout food, how about we partake upon some of that there pizza?" With that, I rushed to grab the plates; glad to have something to do, and perhaps get the focus off of Thanksgiving, 'cause I'm still not sure I can pull this off.

~0~

"So your family seems nice," I tell him as we crawl into bed that evening.

"I think so too," he agrees with a sexy smile.

"So, umm… what is the story with your brother?"

"Ahh, Jasper… what can I say about him?" He laughs. "Jasper is a writer and he immerses himself into whatever inspires him. His eccentric behavior is just something we've all gotten used to. Last year he was a hippie, two years ago he was a type-A-personality stock broker. Now, I guess he is a cowboy. He can be just Jasper, if he has to be; and when he is in between books, he's himself. But other than that, he really gets into character." My poor snuckums has a bat shit crazy brother and doesn't even realize. "Are you ready for tomorrow?" He asks, changing the subject.

"At this point, yeah, I'm just ready to get it over with," I tell him honestly.

"What time is Charlie and Em getting in?"

"Around noon," I tell him.

"Well, if nothing else, this should be interesting." He laughs. "My parents referring to wacky weed and ganja along with my brother talking with the worst fake southern accent ever. Added to it my sister on her 'men are all assholes' rant." He groans. "At least your family is normal." I laugh.

"Oh yeah, right. My brother the weightlifting nurse who took the job to meet women. My Dad the self-proclaimed ladies' man who hasn't had a date in I don't know how many years because he's scared he might fall for another bat shit crazy woman like my Mom."

"Yeah, your Mom even beats Jasper out on the crazy front." He laughs and I fake slap him. "So what about your brother's girlfriend?"

"Well, they've been dating about three months and Em swears she is the one. Says she gets his fart jokes and prefers Letterman to Leno. He told me they were talking about moving in together."

"So, basically she is a female Emmett?" I nod, laughing. "This ought to be real fun, baby."

"Hmm… I know what could be real fun," I tell him, cupping his junk. I had enough talking. I wanted some humping.

"Hmm, now my baby is talking."

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><p><strong>So next chapter begins Thanksgiving! lol I really should have posted this in November but ohh well. Reviews light up my heart the way the twinkle lights do my tree, please to be lighting me up :0)<br>**


	10. Chapter 10

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**AN: Umm this chapter earns the M rating just saying...  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: The Bird is in the Oven, and, Ohh What a Way to Wake Up…<strong>

Waking up at seven in the morning when on vacation just sucks; and should be illegal. After five cups of coffee and a cinnamon bun, I was buzzing and working quickly to get that big ass bird into the oven. Ok, so there may have been a twenty minute call to the Butterball hotline to help me, but other than that I got that bird into the oven on my own.

A shower and another cup of coffee later and I was waking up my sleeping sex-on-legs of a man.

"Edward," I call from the doorway of our room. _Nothing._ "Edward, it's time to get up," I tell him, standing beside the bed. His only reply is a grunt. "Eddikins… Eddie Eddie gumdrops," I taunt him and he growls. Pulling the blanket down, I expose his naked arse, which I lean over. "Hmmm… I had some cinni-bons and they were good. I wonder what some Eddie-bons taste like?" I take a quick nip off my man's fine ass and he growls louder, rolling over and pulling me with him.

Edward's arms circle tightly around me, his sleepy sexy face looking into mine. _Mmmm__… __sleepy__Edward__is__sexy.__Bella__likes._ My perverted mind is thinking of all the wonderful things I can do with sexy sleepy Edward, when he cuts off my thoughts by kissing the ever loving shit out of me. Soft warm lips pressed to mine, I love him enough to ignore that faint hint of nasty morning breath as his tongue starts to explore inside my mouth. His left hand begins exploring my body. Light touches on my side, my breast and finally some loving on my nips. His mouth moves lower kisses down my throat, to my chest and finally his lips join his hand in exploring the land of Bella's nipples. _Mmmm._

I claw at his back letting him know that I'm in full approval of what he is doing to me. Soon though his mouth starts drifting lower, when kisses start on my belly button my clit starts dancing and screaming for Edward to come play with her. That little nub is one loud whore when she knows Edward is on his way to her. _Mmmmm_. Edward's lips begin kissing my lower lips, before finding the whore that is my clit and sucking ever so gently on her. Long tongue massages with just enough pressure sends a flood of Bella juice out. Edward—being a '_connoisseur__'_ of Bella-juice—laps it up and moans against me. The vibrations send shockwaves of pleasure up my spine and I grip his hair tightly in appreciation. Fingers join the tongue, first one then two are inserted inside of me. A slight curl to his fingers in a come-here motion trips my wire, and I fall into orgasmic bliss.

When I start coming down from my heaven, I begin to pull him up to return the favor, only Edward shakes his head. "I want to cum inside you," he growls, flipping me around so my ass is in the air. Mounting me from behind, he pushes gently into me, my vaginal walls still slick, adjust to him quickly. I grasp the headboard as he pushes me forward. One hand fondling my breast, the other playing with my clit, sending that whore over the edge again quickly. He came soon after, growling my name with each thrust.

"I love you," he groans on his last thrust.

"I love you more," I tell him softly, still completely blissed out.

"Don't you know, Bella, that I love you more than infinity?" He winks, flipping me over to face him.

"And beyond?" I laugh, remembering our second date when he told me of his love of Buzz Lightyear as a child.

"And beyond," he assures me, before placing his lips to mine again.

As we lay kissing in blissful afterglow and messy bodily fluids—that means I need another shower, but, ohh damn, is it worth it—I can't help but think that I know what I'm thankful for today. Multiple orgasms for the win.

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><p><strong>Reviews are chocolate for my mind and I love me some chocolate... <strong>

Rec: Completed fic called Running For Home net/s/7359356/1/Running_for_Home


	11. Chapter 11

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**AN: So I'm early because Saturday is going to be a busy day for me not sure if I'd be able to get around to posting then. I hope no one minds the early update. **

**Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter, all 11 of you made me smile :0). **

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><p><strong>Chapter 11: When Families Collide<strong>

You know that moment when you realize that your perfect day—that started out with a kick-ass sexfest with your smexy fiancé—is coming to an end, happens and you just want to kill everyone involved in bringing you down from your orgasmic high? Yeah, well, that moment happened around noon when my Dad met Jasper. I mean, it all started out innocent enough…

"Bella, your Dad is here," Edward calls, coming into the kitchen. I turn around and hug my big lug of a Daddy, taking the bottle of wine and the twelve-pack of Vitamin R from him.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hey, Bella honey, how are things going?" I point to the mess that is my tiny kitchen and he laughs. "That good, huh?"

"Well, nothing is burnt and it smells good, so I figure it's going pretty good so far," I assure him.

"Good, good." He pats his belly lightly and turns to Edward.

"Pre-game show is on in the living room, come on, Charlie, I'll introduce you to my Dad and brother Jasper." Edward leads my Dad out.

"Hey, Dad, where is Em?"

"He's riding in with his girl; they were right behind me when we left Forks, so he should be here soon."

"Ok cool." He keeps walking and I go back to peeling potatoes to boil for the creamy mashed ones I'm planning on making. Rose and Esme had come over earlier but quickly left to go grab one thing or another that we needed for the holiday that they forgot, so I was left in a den of testosterone.

"Bella?" I turn and find my Dad back in the kitchen.

"Yeah?" He looks worried.

"Does that boy have something wrong with him? Is he like a 'special-needs' person?" _Huh?_

"Huh?" I repeat out loud.

"That Jasper, Edward's brother. You know the one wearing a Stetson and chaps talking like he's from the south and complaining that the cowboys 'ain't been the same since ol' Troy retired'. He asked me as a law man, 'what my take on the Alamo was?'" My poor pops.

"Dad, Jasper is umm… well, he's a writer and tends to be a method one. Edward says that he's actually normal under the crazy." I try to use a reassuring voice.

"Huh, well, something is not right in that man's head, Bells. I'm keeping my eyes on him." And Chief Charlie was now on duty.

"Ok, Dad, just be nice. Remember I'm in love with—and marrying—his brother."

"Will do, Bells," he assures me, going back into my very packed living/dining area.

Twenty minutes later, Rose and Esme are back with a pretty centerpiece for the table, and even more wine. Rose joined the guys watching the TV, while Esme helped me in the kitchen. She told some kick-butt stories about little Edward and his love for showing random people his wee pee-pee when he was about three. And while we were laughing and bonding in the kitchen, that's when it erupted in the living room.

"What the hell do you mean we should have let him walk? The man had about two million dollars' worth of marijuana growing on his property. Damn right I was going to arrest his ass!" _Oh__shit._

"Well now, Chief Swan, I think you are forgettin' that this here is a free country. Only communist swine would tell a man what crops he can be growin' on his own property." _Double__shit._

"How about we agree to disagree?" My sweet sex-god is trying to reason with them._ Please, don't hurt the pretty Daddy!_

"Don't tell me that you condone this belief that your brother has?" Dad's voice has gone up an octave and his face is turning purple.

"Charlie…" Edward looks to me for help and I take over.

"Dad, Edward is just as 'Just Say No' as you and I."

"Edward, family is first, boy, you best be stickin' up for your kin folk." Cowboy Jasper yells.

"Jasper, just calm down," Carlisle tries to intervene.

"Maybe we should get him back on the wacky weed; he was always real calm then," Rose—who is trying to be helpful, but really just made it worse with her sarcastic humor—says, while trying to get Jasper to sit back down.

"Wacky weed?" Dad asks, slowly turning to look at me. "Bella, are you associating with druggies?"

"Dad, umm…" How to respond to this? A knock on the door saves my ass and I rush to grab it. Emmett swoops in grabbing me in a huge hug.

"Belly Boo, I've missed you, kiddo," he tells me.

"I've missed you too, Emmie." I giggle. You can't help it, Emmett just makes you happy.

"Son, put your sister down, she was just telling me about her associating with drug addicts," Dad, who is in full cop mode, tells his oldest child firmly.

"Drug addicts?" Emmett almost drops me, he is so shocked. "Bells, say it isn't so." He pouts. Acting like the ass I know he used to be in high school.

"Oh, please, Jasper hasn't gotten high in like three weeks." Rose laughs from her spot on the floor. "He was never an addict anyways."

"I have to agree as a medical doctor that marijuana has a very low chance of being addictive. Only people who are habitual users and their bodies become so used to the high find any kind of dependency or withdraw. It is actually labeled as a non-addictive drug. Advil is more addictive than pot." Carlisle tells Dad.

"So, I guess we should all just break the law and pass the doobie around?" Dad's tone is so sarcastic that even a baby could pick up that he wasn't being serious.

"Ohh, Em, you didn't tell me that this party was really going to be a party." A short woman coming in the door giggles. She was carrying a pie of some sort and rocking a funky hair do.

"Al, not right now," Em whispers to her, which is the same as most people saying something for the room to hear.

"Aww… I guess we should wait to toke up. Ohh, are we doing it like a ceremonial type thing to give our sympathies to the Native Americans? Cause peyote is some funky shit, I prefer weed, I'm less likely to have a black out or hallucination."

"Fuck my life." And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where I learned it from. Charlie Swan standing in the middle of my tiny living room head in his hands cussing because he now believes both of his children have fall in with druggies.

Now, where did I put that wine?

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><p><strong>AN2: After that first meeting I think poor Bella could use a few reviews to cheer her up ;0)<strong>

**I'm thinking maybe 3 or 4 more chapters because interest in this fic seems to be waning so that generally means that a fic is being dragged out or gone off course so I'm going to work on a quick wrap up. Thanks for those of you who have stuck with me I hope you are not disappointed with the rest of the fic. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**AN: Thanks for the support last chapter.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 12: Why Can't We All Just Get Along<strong>

Two glasses of wine, one hour of Carlisle trying to calm down the room and a _fuck __it_ from Charlie later, we've all settled round the table to shove copious amounts of food down our throats in the name of Thanksgiving.

"We have a tradition in our family where we say what we are actually thankful for before we begin eating. If the Swans don't mind, I'd love it if we all continued this tradition," Carlisle states/ asks at the same time.

"I think it's a great idea," Em tells him, all the while staring at the beast of a turkey on the table.

"I'll start," The quirky little Alice—who is still bummed out that we aren't passing a doobie later—offers.

"Ms. Brandon, it would be an honor for a pretty lil' thing, like yourself, to start this tradition here this year." Oh yeah, I kinda forgot to mention that my future bro-in-law has been flirting and crushing on my brother's girlfriend since they laid eyes on each other.

"Why thank you, Mr. Cullen." She giggles and bats her eyelashes at him. Umm… yeah, it's been a mutual flirt fest and Em; he's been too busy worrying about the food to notice.

"Go ahead and start, Alice," Charlie tells her, while trying to hide his eye roll. My poor Dad is drinking his beer like it is the only thing keeping him sane. Poor Charlie. He hasn't seen this level of craziness since Mom left.

"Ok, so, I'm thankful for my job, because it pays my bills and makes me feel like I'm contributing to society. I'm thankful for my friends and for being invited to dinner tonight so that I can expand my friend-base." She smiles widely at Jasper. "Oh, and I'm thankful for chaps." She adds with a giggle, that earns her a wink from Jasper.

"Alright then, I'll take it from here," Dad stops Alice before she can be thankful for cowboys or something else about Jasper. "I'm thankful that my town is safe and my kids aren't druggies." He gives a decisive nod, which, in Charlie speak, means he is done.

"Good things to be thankful for, Charlie," Carlisle—still trying to be the peacemaker—tells my Dad, before pointing at Rose. "Rose, why don't you go next." She rolls her eyes and takes a big gulp of her wine.

"I'm thankful that I'm down an asshole." She points to her wine. "And I'm thankful to grapes that ferment up so nicely."

"Rosalie Lillian, you can do better than that," Esme chastises. Rose huffs.

"I'm thankful for my family, even the crazy one, and for my future sis-in-law who isn't a gold digging whore like Edward's high school girlfriend—the skank. Bella, you're adorable; welcome to our family." She raises her glass in the cheers to towards me; and I smile motioning it back at her.

"Thanks, Rose."

"Whose next, 'cause I'm done?" Rose looks around the table and Em raises his hand.

"I'm thankful for the food on the table, the kick-ass smelling pies in the kitchen, my family, friends and for my job—because in this economy, a job is a hard thing to find. Oh, I'm thankful for my jeep, because that baby is tricked out and I love her hard." Alice looks at him and he just ignores it. Huh?

"Well, alright then, I'll be going now. I'm thankful for the sun in the sky, my horse 'Eclipse', my shot gun, my Ma and Pa both sets of my grands. My siblings and my other kin folk. I'm thankful for fertile fields and the beauty of livestock in the mornin'." He looks at little Alice and winks. "I'm also thankful for fine lil' women that can brighten up your day with just a smile." She giggles and he winks again; and I'm mentally vomiting at their flirting.

"I'm thankful for my family and my husband—whose patience is beyond compare. I'm thankful for my friends—old and new. And for my future daughter-in-law—whom I absolutely adore." Esme says quickly trying to draw the attention away from her son. "Edward dear, why don't you go next." She smiles at her sane son and he holds back a laugh knowing what she is doing.

"I'm thankful for my beautiful Bella—whom I love and who gets me better than anyone. I'm thankful for my family and for school almost being done." He kisses the side of my head and I smile at him. My sexy stud would so be getting some right now if our families weren't here.

"I'm thankful for my wonderful loving fiancé whom I love so much," I tell him and he smiles wider. "I'm thankful for my family and for my future family. And for the friends who I love and care about as well." Silently, I add,_ I__'__m__ also__ thankful __Dad__ left __his__ gun__ at__ home __today._

"Thank you, Bella. I'll end this by saying, that like all of you, I'm thankful for friends, family and for my beautiful wife Esme. I'm also thankful that my parents are still with us even if they chose to go to Fiji for the holiday instead of coming here with us today. I also want to welcome Bella to the family. You are a wonderful welcomed addition; and I'm so happy that Edward found his soul mate." He gives a sexy grin and I know where my man got his skills from. "Edward, son, your mother and I would like to give you and your lovely fiancé an engagement gift of buying the two of you a nice starter home. Something that is priced within reason of a starter home, you understand?"

"Seriously?" Edward almost shouts in joy. I'm a little dazed at this news.

"We mean it when we say _within_ _reason_; if you want a palatial estate, you wait until after thirty—when your trust's funds are released to you. For now, you find a nice starter home that the both of you feel you can live in." Esme interjects with a laugh.

"Oh, we understand, Mom. Thank you both so much." He stands to hug his parents and my poor Dad looks dejected.

"Dad, do you think you could help us?" I ask him. "We could use the help picking out safe neighborhoods and you probably know who to trust for inspections and things around here." Charlie brightens.

"I can do that, Bells."

"Thank you, Daddy, and thank you Esme and Carlisle."

"Uhh… can we eat now?" Em—who was now leaning towards the turkey—asks and we all have to laugh and agree to dig into our feast.

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><p><strong>AN: There is a reason for the house, trust me! lol With Saturday being Xmas eve I might be updating early depending on my family. Now please be kind and tip your writer (reviews are accepted in lieu of money).<strong>

**Recs **

****Birthdays, Bars, & Bathrooms** /s/7004130/1/**

****Fatherhood, Formula, and Other F Words** /s/7520210/1/**

****How to Paint a House** /s/7107558/1/ (warning lots of angst right now)  
><strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**So here is the next chapter, hope you like it. Thanks for all the support!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 13: Umm… Anyone Want Pie?<strong>

After we finished eating, Esme and Rose helped me put away things, while the rest of them set the chairs up so they could have a more comfortable sitting situation. The Cullens were going to take part in a Swan family tradition of watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation to start the season out right.

Edward and I were all abuzz with excitement. He already whispered to me that our new place was going to have enough room to seat the family without needing people to sit on the floor. Charlie was in on the new house spirit too, having already texted a buddy from the academy; and we found out that the Sand Point area was within our budget and a safe area to live in. I also found out that our budget was up to $600,000. Anything under could go towards furnishings and remodeling. My poor little mind still hasn't recovered from that knowledge.

"Ladies, do you need any help?" Em comes in, offering and I turn to smile and my big brother.

"Em, could you put this on that top shelf over there?" I hand him the now clean turkey platter to put away. He takes it and I catch Rose out of the corner of my eye checking out his butt. I have to stifle a laugh. Ladies do love my big brother.

"How are things going out there?" Esme asks softly.

"Good, Dad is giving Carlisle the names of some good drug rehab places around here and Carlisle is politely listening to the old man. Alice and Jasper ran out to catch a smoke and Edward is drooling over houses on the computer." I giggle. My poor hunky baby, I know he can't wait to move into a bigger space, words like man cave and big screen TV have been tumbling out of his mouth.

"Jasper went to get a smoke?" Rose looks at Esme curiously.

"Jasper doesn't smoke," Esme replies.

"Huh… I didn't think Ali did either, I guess people surprise us every day," My sweet big brother tells them.

"Oh Lord, I hope they aren't toking up, that's the last thing we need today. Your Dad will shit a brick and probably arrest them both." Rose snorts.

"This is out of his jurisdiction, but he'd probably call the locals in," I tell her.

"Dude, that's so what Dad would do!" Em laughed loudly. "Or place them under a citizen's arrest."

"I could see him doing that too. He probably has his cuffs in the car." I say agreeing with Em. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Esme wringing her hands and shooting nervous glances towards the living room.

"I'll be right back," Esme tells us, going out to the living room.

"Is she ok?" I ask Rose who nods.

"Yeah, probably just needed a fix of my Dad, they are addicted to each other, I swear. Not that I'm complaining. If ever I could find a man that wasn't an assmunch, I'd snap him up and never let him go."

"Just want to say in the defense of my gender that not all of us are asses. Some of us hold jobs… or are buying our own homes and would love to find a woman to cherish and start a family with," Em tells her and I swear I see her swoon slightly.

Before anyone can say anything else, I hear a scream. We all rush out to see Esme looking out the window horrified. Looking down into the parking lot of my building, my breath catches in revolt because I seriously never needed to see this. Alice is wearing Jasper's cowboy had, and not much else while she and Jasper are having way too much fun in the bed of a truck.

"Dude, now I'm going to have to get my damn car washed!" Em groans. "So, umm… anyone want some pie?"

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><p><strong>If you are in the Christmas mood check out my os Christmas Surprise (complete shameless self promotion!) Happy Christmas Eve and Happy Hanukkah to all and to all a good night ;0) See you Tuesday  
><strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Beta'd by TwiDi**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**AN: Sorry I got strep and bronchitis that turn into Pneumonia which is kicking my ass and I even spent a few days in the hospital so there were no updates for awhile I'm still sick *pouts* but I couldn't leave you all hanging.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 14: WTF Just Happened?<strong>

"Em?" I look at him like he might be touched in the head.

"What?" he mumbles around the heaping bite he's now shoving in his mouth—Esme had loaded him up with the yummy pumpkin with Cool Whip.

"Are you ok?" I point in the direction of the window where _yee-haws_ and _ride'em cowgirl_ can still be heard coming through. Since they now had clothes on, Dad was talked out of calling the cops, but he kept muttering about wacky weed and idiots.

"Yeah, I'm cool, sis. Alice and I dated and she's awesome—don't get me wrong—but we… kinda… sort of broke up. We decided to be friends. And since she doesn't have any family, I brought her here with me today because she is a friend." He smiles. "I realized that I was thinking about marrying her so I could give her a family; I felt bad that she was all alone. But reality set in when I realized while I love her, I'm not _in_ love with her. Plus, as big as I am and as tiny is she is, I always had to hold back during sex 'cause I was scared I was going to hurt her."

"Umm… ok," I mutter, giving him a look. I guess I was off on how serious he was about Alice. Huh.

"She still could have controlled herself," Rose growls, "Jasper could have too."

"Rose, it's fine." Em pats her on the shoulder and grins. "At least no one called the cops." She rolls her eyes at him, but does crack a smile.

"So, how about that movie?" Carlisle asks, trying to draw everyone's attention away from the weird couple and the situation they put us all in. Edward—who is in the same mind as his father—jumps up and gets the movie going.

Ten minutes into the movie, Jasper and Alice come back in, giggling and snuggling. Rose jumps up and whacks her brother upside the head. She then grabs him by the ear and drags him into Edward and my bedroom. Alice helps herself to some pie and plops down to watch the movie, clearly oblivious to the tension in the room. Emmett pats Alice on the shoulder and gives her a look; and she whispers 'sorry', to which he nods in response. He then walks towards the bedroom and the sounds of Rose yelling at Jasper. A few more minutes of awkward silence pass and then Jasper storms into the room again grabbing Alice and leaving without a word.

"Well, no one can say that the holidays are boring around here." My stud puppy lover man groans into his hands. I lean over and give him a pat of encouragement on his leg. Ok, so maybe it was his thigh, but you can't prove it was near his magic stick. Nope you can't, even if he did wink at me and turn a delicious shade of pink on his ears.

I sigh. When aroused, my Edward's ears turn pink like my cheeks when I'm embarrassed. Sign number billion and ten that we were meant to be. A loud thump pulls me out of my Edward daze; and I look to see what has fallen.

What I notice is Esme looking at the floor, Carlisle looking at the ceiling and Dad chugging a beer like it was the only thing keeping him sane.

"Oh, fuck, Emmett, harder!" Rosalie's voice yells and another loud thump sounds.

"Fuck, Rosie, oh damn!" At that Dad rushes to the kitchen to grab another beer. I have this feeling Charlie's either camping out on the sofa or the blow up mattress tonight, because he's getting his drink on.

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews might not cure me but they sure go a long way to making me feel better... <strong>

**The final chapter may or may not be done *hint hint* Now I'm off to play on FB and see about finishing up Homecoming. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Many thanks to my lovely beta'd by TwiDi who made this story so much better, love ya bb!  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**To the most faithful and wonderful reviewers this story had the ones that reviewed all (or the majority of) the chapters: Chilly Howdy, ADADancer, EdwardsVampireGrl, Nicoconsd, gypsy411, crackupmonkey, amwine, carey1090, cullengirl08, haylee21, kakashifan-0001, FFpassion, sujari6, HopeStreet, jenn939, cusic1981, Kitty Vuitton, BelieverALEX, .gotes , sugunary. twilight mom and fan, GreenEyedLove06 and TwiDi (if I missed you I'm sorry it wasn't intentional) this final chapter is dedicated too all of you.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 15: Is It Over Yet?<strong>

"Are they?" Edward—my sweet innocent Edward… how he stayed so innocent with his sex crazed siblings around, I have no idea—asks me and I nod in disbelief. The telltale thumping has gotten louder.

"Your sister is defiling my brother on our bed," I tell him not happy about this at all. His brother just defiled our parking lot and now his sister had to do the same to the temple of love that is our bedroom. I'm trying to remember where I hid that illegal taser Dad hooked me up with, because those bitches were on my Egyptian-cotton sheets that I worked damn hard for. Sheets I loved and was now going to have to burn.

"Well, from the grunting and mumbled 'oh, fuck yes' we are hearing, I don't think he minds," Edward shoots back.

"It's that damn wacky weed," Dad slurs.

"Actually, Charlie, most of the time pot dulls the sexual impulses. The drug is meant to mellow one out. It's more likely to make you hungry then horny," Esme tells Dad; and poor Edward's face is now as red as his ears after hearing his Mom say the word _horny_.

"Who cares about the weed, Daddy, those are my sheets!" I yell, "they ruined my babies!" I think the stress of the day—or the three hundred large I blew on those sheets—were getting to me. Edward grabs me up in his strong manly arms and holds me close. The same manly arms that are gonna whack it in the bathroom 'cause he's not getting any, because we are not sleeping on those sheets—and rather gonna have to share the blow up mattress with Dad tonight. While this calms me some, I'm still upset. I cooked and cleaned my butt off, sacrificed my living room and had my first really big fight with my love muffin for this Thanksgiving dinner… and what do I get in return?

My Dad thinks the Cullens are all weed-loving, horn-dogs. And he also thinks Jasper has something wrong with his head. Carlisle and Esme are probably plotting ways to get some socialite as their daughter-in-law—you know, someone who can throw a party without cowboy-sex in their parking lot and having the master bedroom taken over by loud sexual deviants who are, at this point, yelling _'who owns you bitch?'_ at each other. Edward, my sweet man, was probably going to go bald after this party, with all the hair pulling he's done. And that would suck because I really love his hair.

Carlisle and my Dad start watching ESPN on loud volume while Edward keeps rocking me. Esme is sitting beside us patting him on the back, saying 'it's going to be ok'. I don't know if she is talking to me, him or herself. Twenty minutes of this later and the thumping has stopped and the rumpled-pair come out adjusting their clothing.

"Hey, I'm uh… going to take Rosie back to her hotel. Thanks for dinner, sis. Happy Thanksgiving everyone." They wave and head out the door. I whimper because I know he's taking his truck. Same truck that I'd planned to start a bonfire in its bed to burn my beautiful sheets. He ruins my favorite thing, so I'll burn his.

"Bella, it's going to be ok. We'll just get a new set of sheets, baby." Edward promises. "Hell, when we pick out the new house we'll buy a whole new bed."

"Sweetheart, trust me, it could have been worse. Carlisle and I came home from a vacation once to find his parents having sex in our pool. I had to have the thing drained and bleached; and even then I couldn't swim in it, so we ended up selling that house and moving. Extreme, I know. But I was just plain traumatized. Then there was Rose's sweet sixteen party, when we found Jasper in the master bedroom watching pornos and pleasuring himself. I did six months in therapy after that one." She sighs. "You'll get used to it, hun, our family loves hard… but they are a horny bunch." I hid my giggle in Edward's shirt.

"Es, hun, I think we should head out, Charlie is sleeping and the kids have had a rough day. Plus, I think we need to plan on opening back up the house. I have this feeling Jasper and Rose will want to be Seattle-based now." She smiles at him.

"Me too, dear." She hugs Edward and me before Carlisle hugs us as well.

"We'll meet up tomorrow to get started on finding a realtor for you kids. I know you're ready to find someplace a little bigger, a guestroom would probably help a lot," Carlisle says, looking with a fond smile at my snoring father. "Happy Thanksgiving, kids." More hugs and they leave.

Edward helps me get Charlie down for the night before we go into our room and stop. It is completely demolished like a sex bomb had gone off in it. He groans and strips my precious sheets from our bed. He runs into the bathroom emerging with some Lysol that he sprays the bed down with, before grabbing the cheap spare sheets out and laying them on the bed. Curled up together in our PJs, he holds me—knowing I am so not in the mood. He starts talking about lists for what we have to have in the new place—and I try to pay attention—but the day has worn me out.

"We survived," he says suddenly.

"What?" I look at him, my foggy brain not picking up on his meaning.

"Our first Thanksgiving as a couple—having family mix and all that... We survived." I laugh and nod.

"That we did, baby."

"Happy Thanksgiving, love."

"Happy Thanksgiving, Edward." I kiss his smexy jawline.

"I think a fireplace is a must," he mutters and I hide a groan. Now, I just hope we can survive finding our first house.

**~The End~**

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks again for reading. I'm kind of thinking when I get a few of my other stories caught up doing a sequel called Our First House. I haven't decided yet though. The house was important because it set up a sequel. I hope this didn't let you down to much it just felt right to end it here. I'm hoping all of you have a wonderful New Year. <strong>


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